I started this blog a long time ago. At first, I wanted to record and share how I dealt with RA. But then it hit me. It shouldn’t be about how to live with RA. It should be about how to live in spite of RA.
Every day I wake up and test the waters, so to speak. I don’t dip my toe in, rather I grab air with my hands. Most days I can grab a handful and make a fist. And then there are those days when I cannot. Even ignoring the pain doesn’t allow me to bend my fingers.
On those days it can take hours, sometimes four or more hours, before my hands loosen up and my fingers become pliable. This doesn’t mean I can’t do anything at all during these hours. It just means I can’t do anything that requires fine motor skills. I can’t go about using my rotary cutter to cut quilt pieces, or even chop vegetables, unless I want to run the risk of losing a finger, which I don’t.
Sometimes I look at my hands and remember all that they have done. From doing the simple, ordinary care for my own children to performing the intricate procedures required of me during my nursing life. I can no longer depend on my hands to allow me to function in that capacity. And it’s something I miss terribly. I was good at it, dammit!
But RA cannot take away my interactions with others. It cannot stop me from giving to others. It cannot prevent me from helping others, in whatever way I can.
This blog allows me to give, and take. It allows me to share and be part of a community. It gives me much satisfaction to learn from others and to share what works for me, what helps me. Though I do wish I had the answer to one of the most searched items on this blog: how to keep fingers from going crooked from arthritis. How I wish I knew the answer to that. I wish I had the secret potion. But, I don’t.
All I know is that we must stay active, our bodies as well as our hands. We must beat this uninvited adversary at its own game. If it takes motion away from us, we must stay in motion, always. And so besides exercise, I crochet, I sew, I quilt, I type, I write, and I blog about all those things. Perhaps at the risk of giving this blog a “flight of ideas” feel to it.
But all those activities not only help my body and my hands, they also help my spirit. Most days when I look at my hands, I see not only what they have done, but what they can still do.