I’ve been gone for a while and I’m having the hardest time getting back to normal. My routine eludes me. Seems all I have the energy for is cleaning out my inbox(es). I collect not only emails, but email addresses. I’ve tried to downsize, keep to one, but people still send me mail where I prefer they didn’t. And by the time I check, they’ve mushroomed.
I need to get back to my reading, my writing, my work in general. I came home but my mind is still making its way to me. Part of it stayed in California with my father-in-law, who is dying. Today finds him in an intensive care unit. That much closer to over there than to over here. As much as I try to stop the images from forming in my head, I can see all the flustered activity around him. A once robust man, he is down to a mere 110 pounds, slowly disappearing.
And parts of my mind, my thoughts, remain with my infant granddaughter. After two weeks in Los Angeles, I flew across the country to home and the very next day flew backwards to the middle of the country. The thought of spending a week with her gave me the adrenalin shot I needed to get back on a plane so soon.
Uber jet lag, mollified only by the thought of spending my days with my little angel. Days that began at 6:30 am, a shock to the non-morning person that I am. At nine months, she is busy exploring how much she can do on her own, how long she can stand unsupported, how quick Abuela will run when she cries.
I didn’t realize how tired I was till I got home and began waking up several times a night wondering what bed I was in. What room was I in? What house, what town, what state? I’ve never suffered such disorientation before. It was quite eerie. Like being in your own horror movie.
But now I’ve been back a week and I have to get a move on. I promised a quilt. Due in one week. Yikes!
Welcome home, Irma! What a beautiful baby your granddaughter is!
It sounds like you’re feeling better after your long battle with shingles, and I’m glad. I hope the RA is giving you a break, too.
Rest, give yourself a break, and keep slowly resuming your routine. The writing will come when it’s ready. Take care, friend. Sending comfort and calm your way.
Thank you, Wren. Shingles is still my companion, though muted. Three months and counting. RA kind of had to take a back seat during all this travel. Probably the cause of my present fatigue, but every day is a good day when the sun comes up. Take care.
Here’s hoping the second part of this year is far less rocky than the first half. Be kind to yourself, your deserve a break. Sometimes returning to routine can be the best medicine. I agree with Wren, the writing will come back again – it never abandons us.
Thanks, J.G. I did a lot of editing for others while I was away, but writing of my own I did only in my head. It was almost like I didn’t want to capture part of what I was going through. Seeing the ending of one life was counterbalanced by seeing the beginning of another.