It’s amazing what a difference a few days can make. Sometimes you are lucky enough to reach a point in your life where you think things will always be the way they are. And if they are not, it is only because they got better. You become complacent and accepting. You allow yourself to get comfortable with what is your now. You throw caution to the winds and laugh in the face of your existence.

And then, you are brought up short.

You have made no plans for things to get worse. You have no reserves to face the negative and you are left breathless as you face that painful awakening. When you realize that something you grew to take for granted is gone from you. When you discover that warmth was fleeting, like the bloom of a flower and no longer there. You are thrown into a tumult. Such are the true colors of this thing called life.

I find that RA mimics my life. The roller coaster that is my life. The upswings are short but thrilling. The downhills long and arduous. When you are on the way up, you can’t look down. Maybe that’s what makes them seem like they will last forever. The downside is out of sight, and worse, you refuse to even consider it. You choose instead to revel in the moment.

I suppose that is how life is meant to be lived. Otherwise, how could we face the sun each morning if we knew it would only bring sorrow and darkness. But, the light is merciful, if we let it.

After four days of steroids, my hand is almost back to normal. Almost. I call upon it and it is there for me. It is not what robs me of sleep this night. I give thanks for that, while I wish there was a magic candy for what truly ails me.

Alas, there is not.

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