Many moments in my life ring in my ears
Things that I’ve done
Things I’ve not done
Words that I’ve said
Not said

I hear the voices, the conversations
Sometimes they keep me up at night thinking what if
If only
If I could do it over
If I’d had the chance to do it

Sometimes the conversation is only with myself
My now self and my past self
Other times, it’s with that other person
I hear the words as I relive the moment in my head,
the voices clear as day deep in darkest

Some are joyous to remember
and I bask in memory’s glow
sinking deep into my pillow
as it lulls me gently into such sweet

Some have the force to make me cry
as if they were happening anew
As though time reversed itself
and sent me back to suffer pain, again

One can never know
I can never know
But I’ve learned to live
with the sounds of bells’

Until this last continuous sound,
a noise which cannot be

No, this incessant din
I will not abide
For it is naught
but an artificial ring
caused only by my


***Tinnitus, ringing in the ears, compliments of Plaquenil.
     I’m jumping ship, until disproven.

This entry was posted in Dealing with disease, Health, Hope, Inflammatory conditions, Life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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